


Weight of the World

by orphan_account



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anxiety Disorder, Depression, Eating Disorders, F/M, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, It might be happy at one point, Jamilton - Freeform, M/M, Multi, Panic Attacks, Sadness, Self harm later on, oh guess again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-05
Updated: 2016-10-10
Packaged: 2018-07-12 10:06:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 14,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7098367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>~~THIS IS DISCONTINUED~~<br/>Thomas Jefferson was never very fond of Alexander Hamilton. But after one troubling night, he begins to see a new side to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Thomas Jefferson, a rather tall man with a straight forward mind, walked the corridors of the college; something he hadn’t done in a while. It was past curfew, but he didn’t care, it was something he had used to do often. That was, until the new exchange student came in. An immigrant from the Caribbean, with the name Hamilton. Jefferson actually seemed fond of him, when they first met; he recalled to himself the first words he heard out of Hamilton’s mouth, “Mr. Jefferson, Alexander Hamilton.” He had said, cheerily. Jefferson sighed, remembering how later his good friend James Madison would explain to him Hamilton’s radical opinions. And How Jefferson would oppose him in said opinions; mostly known in their debate class, where the two would go at each other’s necks.  
Jefferson lost track of time, and somehow found himself halfway across the college; great. He sighed, and turned to begin walking towards his dorm. That’s when he spotted them. A group of four men, of whom he could clearly recognize; Alexander Hamilton at the lead with John Laurens, followed by Hercules Mulligan and Marquis de Lafayette. “Well I’ll be,” Jefferson heard Mulligan say. “If it isn’t Thomas Jefferson!” The four approached him. “Monsieur Jefferson, how are you?” Lafayette said, clapping him on the back. Jefferson didn’t mind, for him and Lafayette were closely acquainted. Jefferson kept an eye on Hamilton, who was glaring back at him. Jefferson noticed how he straightened his back when he saw him, and how he tried to walk with more swagger. It made him chuckle; he also noticed how tired Hamilton looked. “Mon ami?” Jefferson turned back to Lafayette, “Why, I’m fine on this evening. What are you men doing out so late?” “We just came back from a movie, what about you, mon ami?” “I was just enjoying a nightly walk.” He smiled, then turned to Hamilton. “I greatly enjoyed debating you earlier this morning, Hamilton. You clearly have a way with words. If only those words were used for the right cause.” Hamilton….blushed? Jefferson couldn’t tell what it was. “Thank you, I would say the same to you, but that can’t be simply said to a man like you.” Hamilton laughed; the other men laughed as well, all except for Jefferson. “Take care of yourself, Jefferson.” Mulligan said, before the group walked on past him. Jefferson turned, watching them leave. He watched carefully as Hamilton soon relaxed. He snorted, shook his head, then began once again walking to his dorm. Better to have a close observation of your enemy.  
“Man I hate that guy!” “I can’t believe you hang around him Lafayette!” Hamilton sighed, hearing his friends quarrel from the kitchen. They were hanging out in Laurens and Mulligan’s room, where he was supposed to be making them late dinner. He couldn’t focus though, them yelling. About Jefferson, nonetheless. Sure, he and Jefferson had their differences, but he could never really hate the guy. He actually in a way admired him. It was another man who stood for something he believed in, and a fun partner to debate. Although Hamilton knew Jefferson didn’t see it that way… He heard the conversations Madison and Jefferson had. But it’s not like he cared, Jefferson could hate him all he wanted! He didn’t want to exactly be friends with him… That was a lie. Although he never had and never would admit it to anyone, Hamilton’s adoration for Jefferson wasn’t just mild. It was borderline crushing, which in Hamilton’s case, was the worst thing that could have ever happened to him. But he would let it slide, just another stupid tiny crush. Just like the ones he had on the Schuyler sisters, and Maria Reynolds, and John Laurens- “Hey Alex, how them eggs coming!” John said, clasping him on the back. “Oh, fine John.” Alexander said, never wanting to admit that he couldn’t cook. “Smells good!” he heard Hercules yell from the other room. John laughed, and left Alexander to it. Blinking his eyes open, the tired Alexander finished up the eggs, and brought them out to the guys. “Dude, aren’t you having some?” “No,” Alexander yawned. “I’m actually heading out, see you guys later.” “C’mon dude, don’t be a bummer!” “Boo!” he heard them yell, but closed the door anyway. He stumbled down the hall, feeling a feeling well up in his chest. He knew exactly what it meant. He needed to get back to his room, or go back to the guys- no. he had convinced them that he was ok. He hobbled on, clutching his chest, noticing that his breath was quickening slightly. His eyes began to water, tears beginning to roll down his cheeks. He basically ran to the nearest door, and knocked. He was breathing rather quickly, and was crying at this point. The door opened, revealing Thomas Jefferson; of course. “What do you want?” Thomas said, malice in his voice; which turned to surprise by Alex’s state. “Can…..I…..” Alexander’s face scrunched up, and he fell to his knees. “My god,” Thomas kneeled down to him. “Hamilton, Hamilton!” He said, trying to get the other man’s attention. He pulled him inside practically, just in enough to close the door. “Hamilton, calm down.” He tried to tell him, but noticed his breath was quickening. Thomas looked over at his roommate, James Madison, who was awoken by the commotion. “James, get him a water please.” James got up, preparing to do so. Thomas wrapped and arm around Alexander, and pulled him close. He may have hated him, but he was not heartless. He would comfort him in his time of need. “Hamil-Alexander,” he whispered to him. “Calm down, please.” He rubbed circles into his back, an attempt at calming the other man. James came back holding a glass, and handed it to Thomas. “Alexander,” Thomas said, and then forcefully lifted Alexander’s chin. He looked wrecked, his face all red and his eyes puffy. “Drink this; it may make you feel better.” He gave him the glass, which Alexander hesitantly took. He began sipping the cold water, very slowly. He handed him the glass back, and wiped his face. “I-“he began to say, shaking. “I’m sorry….” He finally managed out after a moment. “Dude, its fine. You want to talk or something?” “No, I’ll just leave now.” He quickly stood, almost falling over from the rush. He grabbed onto the wall for support; and watched as Thomas stood. “How about I walk you back?” he offered. Alexander nodded, turning the door handle. Thomas gave a look to James, before exiting the room with Alexander. The two walked down the hallway in silence. “How much time has it been?” Alexander croaked. “Since you came to my room?” “Yes,” “about…” he checked his watch. “Twenty minutes.” Alexander didn’t respond, but instead picked up his pace. They soon arrived. Alexander looked for his key, which he clearly did not have. So he knocked, and luckily, Lafayette answered. “Monsieur Alexander, where have you-“he was shocked by the state the man was in. “Oh, Mon ami!” he pulled him into an embrace. Lafayette looked to Thomas, a dark gaze in his eyes. “Did you do this?” Thomas took a step back, putting his hands up. “No, no! He came to my room and-““Leave him be, Laf.” Alexander muttered, his body slumped against the other man’s. Shaking, he turned his head, looking at Thomas out of the corner of his eye. “Thank you,” he said. Thomas nodded, before turning, his robe swishing behind him. Lafayette pulled Alexander inside, and closed the door.


	2. Chapter 2

There was no doubt, Thomas thought, Alexander was avoiding him. Was it all right for him to think of him as Alexander? Well he thought so. Anyway, ever since that night where Alexander came to him in tears, the poor baby was avoiding him. No, Jefferson thought; don’t think of him like that. Alexander was shying away from his looks, gazing off, even avoiding debating him in class! Even after a rightful challenge! Jefferson scoffed under his breath, something noticed by his friend James.

 “Bro, what’s your deal!? You’re just staring off at….” James followed his gaze, “At Alexander Hamilton!”

Thomas snapped back to reality, noticing they were still at lunch. He sighed, and stood. “Be back, James.” And that’s when he began walking, with slight swagger, towards Alexander.

Alexander was sitting with his usually gang, but was meeting the gaze of Thomas. Something, he guessed Thomas must not have noticed. Or maybe he did; for he had just got up and began walking towards him. He saw Hercules scowl, and John hiss. Alexander always found that funny; John was much like a cat. Anyway, Alexander couldn’t tear his eyes from Thomas, whose hair seemed to be extra extraneous today.

“Alexander!” He said, walking around behind him, patting him on the back.

 Since when were they on a first name basis? Alexander thought. “Is there something you need, Jefferson?”

“Oh… um…” Thomas stammered. “I just thought I could say hi,” he paused, “And maybe speak with you privately, for a moment.”

 Alexander looked at his friends hesitantly, before standing, much to Thomas’ surprise. “Lead the way,” Alexander said, now avoiding his gaze.

Thomas walked out the doors of the food court, leading Alexander to a not busy part of the hall. He towered over the other man, which made Alexander hesitant.

“What do you want? And make it quick, I was in a good conversation.”

 “You didn’t seem to be; you were off and staring at me.”

Alexander…. Blushed, again. “What do you want, Thomas?”

 That made Thomas shiver; he’d only heard Alexander address him by first name on one other occasion. He recomposed himself, hoping Alexander hadn’t noticed; which he did, but had dismissed it as something like the chills.

 “It’s been a week, Alexander.” He put a hand on his shoulder.

 “What is going on?”

 “What do you mean?”

 “You’ve been avoiding me like the plague, all because of that night where-“

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Alexander-“

“I said-“Alexander grabbed him by the shirt, and pulled his face down to his. Not close enough for contact, but to close for comfort. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Alexander let him go, and quickly turned, preparing to leave.

“You know alexander, you’re extremely dense.”

 “Don’t insult me please,”

“It wasn’t an insult.”

 He heard Alexander sigh. “Good day, Jefferson.”

 Thomas watched as Alexander walked back into the food court.

Thomas sighed, following him. He even followed him back to the table.

“Scoot over,”

 “What?” Alexander said, stunned that he was followed.

 “Oh, I’m sorry. May I sit? Now scoot over.” Alexander sighed, but did so. Thomas squeezed in on the end, avoiding having needing to sit next to John.

“So then I was like, ‘Hey, your dad a preacher? Cause girl you a blessing.’ Then she was all like ‘my father is a general’. Then she walked away. She’s totally into me man!” Hercules beamed.

Lafayette laughed. “Oh, Hun. Try not to be so cheesy next time.”

 “Thanks, babe.” Hercules said, jokingly.

 “So this is what you guys talk about?” Thomas whispered to Alexander.

“It’s none of your business, why are you even over here?” Alexander stiffened when he felt a hand on his thigh.

“Because if I came crying to you, you’d have all the right to know why I was upset.” And just like that, Thomas Jefferson was gone.

 Alexander sat there, stunned. His friends were giving him a curious look.

“Oh, Mon ami. Does one like Jefferson?”

 “No, Lafayette. You know I hate him. He’s just acting….strangely.”

 “How strangely?” John asked, shoving a couple of fries in his mouth.

 “Like a one night stand.”

 Hercules practically spat out his drink. “Wait, WHAT!? YOU HAD A ONE NIGHT STAND WITH THOMAS JEFFERSON!?”

 “No! It was a metaphor!”

 “How was that a metaphor, Mon ami?”

 “I-“Alexander stopped, took a breath, and then restarted. “Remember that night last week where I…. came home late?”

 Lafayette remembered, and nodded. “With Jefferson?”

“Yes, I came back to the dorms with Jefferson. He was just curious about that whole deal.”

 “What whole deal?” John, now intrigued, said.

 “I….” Alexander trailed off, looking to Lafayette for help.

“He merely had a panic attack. Jefferson returned him home. That was it.” Laf looked at Alex, pity in his eyes.

“Alex! How could you not tell us?” John yelled, being hushed by Hercules.

“Dude, seriously. You said they stopped-“

“They did! But then…” Alexander sighed, standing. “I’m going to go take a walk.

“But-“

“No, John. I’m taking a walk.” Alexander walked away, leaving his uneaten food to his friends.

’You said they stopped’ ringed in his head. He thought they did, he wished they did. He walked down the halls of the school, still having ten minutes till his next class; which was Mr. Washington’s class. Great, he thought. A chance to show off AND beat Jefferson into the ground; although, a part of him didn’t want to. A part of him just wanted to be held by Thomas again, but he knew that would never happen. Unless he had another panic attack, which he knew he wouldn’t WANT to have. He sighed, and decided to head to Mr. Washington’s room; be early for class, as usual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and Comments are appreciated!


	3. Chapter 3

Alexander basically bullshitted through the rest of his classes his day. He was going to debate Jefferson during Mr. Washington’s class; but at the last moment decided against it. He was too upset to bother with Jefferson today. And as it seemed, Thomas was too nosy to let it go. Maybe that was a good thing, Alexander thought. Especially when it came three days later, when he was sitting on his bed, crying and cuddling a pillow.

Alexander’s friends had headed out for the night, planning to go and get dinner. They asked if he wanted to join, but of course, declined. Then he found himself shoveling food into his face, and forcefully throwing it up. He didn’t think he was fat or anything, oh no no no, he actually thought rather highly of his body. But he did it as an act of self-harm.

And here he is now, sitting on his bed, crying. Slowly reaching for his phone, and pulling up a number he never thought he had. ‘Hey’, he texted, expecting no response. But he was surprised when instead of a message, he got a phone call.

“What do you want?” Thomas said, malice filled, as usual.

“Nice to hear your voice too, Jefferson.” Alexander tried to sound normal, but it didn’t work when his voice croaked halfway through his sentence.

“Alexander?”

“Yes?”

 “Are you crying again?”

 Alexander tried to remain silent, but then sniffled, and again began to sob. “Y-yes…” he muttered.

“I’ll be over.”

“No, wait-“it was too late, the phone already had been hung up. Alexander rolled onto his side, curled into a ball. He waited and began counting minutes.

After about ten of them, he gave up on waiting. He just lied there, shutting his eyes. Of course, right after that, there was a knock on the door. He sighed, got up, and headed there, and quietly opened the door, just a tad. He checked, making sure it was who he was expecting; seeing it was indeed Thomas, he opened the door and let him inside.

“Alexander,” he felt a firm hand on his shoulder after he closed the door.

“What do you want?” Alexander said, trying to sound angry, but mainly sounding upset.

“Talk to me,” Thomas turned him around, just so they were facing each other. “

What if I don’t want to?”

“Then I’ll just sit with you, like last time.” Thomas suddenly, swiftly, picked him up bridal style and carried him to his bed; he set him down gently. He then proceeded to sit at the edge of the bed, placing a hand on Alexander’s leg. “Talk to me.”

 Alexander actually considered it for a moment, but then rolled away, enough so he was pressed against the wall.

 Thomas sighed. “You don’t have to talk to me, if you really don’t want to.” Thomas tried to offer, even though he knew he wasn’t going to get any answers anyway.

“Wasn’t planning too,” He heard alexander take a shaky breath. “Could try to cheer me up, at least?”

Thomas felt himself grinning, “Want to debate?”

“No, no….That would probably make me more upset, getting shut down and everything.”

“Does debating make you really feel that way?”

That caused Alexander to go silent. He suddenly sat up, and faced Thomas. “I mean, it rallies me up, you know? But I mean, I just don’t want to get more upset-“

“I understand.” Thomas nodded at him, sealing the deal.

 An awkward silence fell between the two. After a couple of minutes, Thomas broke it. “What type of music do you like?” He asked, suddenly interested in his phone.

“Classical,”

 “Yeah, right.”

Suddenly, ABBA was blasting from Thomas’ phone. Alexander shook his head, noticing Thomas’ grin. He watched as Thomas stood up, and began to swivel his hips side to side. He offered a hand to Alexander, who hesitantly, took it. Alexander now just stood there, watching Thomas Jefferson dancing to crappy pop music, in his dorm! A sight he never thought he would see. He laughed, and continued laughing when Thomas grabbed his hips and forcefully started swaying them side to side. Alexander took the opportunity to wrap his arms around Thomas’ neck, bringing the two closer than they had been. There were the two dorkiest kids in school, dancing in each other’s arms to ‘Dancing Queen’. The song stopped, and Thomas’ temporarily let go of Alexander to go change it.

“Put on a slow song,” Alexander said, not being able to stop the sentence from exiting his mouth; just like most things he said.

Thomas turned to him, and raised an eyebrow; but proceeded to do so. It was classical, causing Alexander to thank whatever god was up there that Thomas wasn’t as dense as he thought he was. Thomas stepped back in front of him, and once again grabbed his hips. Alexander rested his head on Thomas’ shoulder, with his arms once again around his neck.

The two swayed there, holding each other, when the door suddenly burst open. “HEY ALEXANDER-“

That’s when John Laurens, Hercules Mulligan, and Lafayette decided to return. Right when Alexander was beginning to feel better. Well, and when he could be caught in the most awkward position. The two backed away from each other, Alexander returning to sitting on the bed, and Thomas’ scrambling to shut off the music.

 “What are you two doing?”

 “Just hanging out. Nothing much. Thomas was just leaving, wasn’t he?” Thomas met Alexander’s gaze, and something in the shine of his eyes were pleading for him to stay; even though he knew he couldn’t. “Wasn’t he?”

 “Oh, yes I was. Terrible sorry to trouble you, Alexander.” Thomas pushed past the other men and walked towards the door. “See you tomorrow.” He said before closing the door.

Alexander sighed, and met the gaze of first John, then Herc, and finally Laf. “Can I help you?”

 “What ever happened to you weren’t feeling well?” John said, hurt detectable in his tone.

“I’m not. But he offered to hang out here with me so I took the opportunity.”

“Man, don’t you hate that guy?”

 “Yes, I do. But I was lonely-“

“Man, we could have stayed here with you!” John sat down next to Alexander, and pulled him into his arms.

“I know, I know, I just didn’t want to trouble you guys.”

 “You can always trouble us, Alexander. It’s not really trouble, actually.”

That’s when Alexander pushed John away, and rolled over towards the wall again. “I’m going back to sleep,”

“Alexander-“

“Go.”

“What?”

“I said go! Leave me alone!” Alexander turned around to glare at John, who looked crushed. John stood from the bed, and turned to Herc and Laf.

They quietly discussed something- something audible, but Alexander chose to ignore, before Hercules and John left.

That’s when Lafayette laid down next to Alexander. Alexander turned over slightly, just enough to see, that Laf had his arms open, welcoming an embrace. Alexander sighed, and rolled over into it. “Mon ami; tell me everything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today has been a weird day, three chapters up! But for the rest of the story, I will try for one chapter a day! Thanks for reading :)


	4. Chapter 4

It was nice to wake up in Lafayette’s arms, Alexander thought. The two were settled on such matters; not thinking of each other as anything more than friends. Lafayette liked Mr. Washington, and Alexander liked….No one. Definitely not Thomas Jefferson; so he thought to himself.

So why did he feel compelled, when after Washington’s class, Thomas asked him to dinner?

Alexander did notice his heart had started beating faster, and his palms started sweating.

“So, what do you say, Alexander?”

“Is it…. Is it like a date?”

Thomas took a literal step back, stunned. Now flustered, he quickly responded.

“No! Of course not! Can’t two political rivals just have dinner?”

Alexander thought over it, and nodded.

So it was settled. They would meet at local Olive Garden at 7:30 pm. late for dinner, Alexander thought; but didn’t mind.

{Later}

“Where are you off to, Alexander?”

Lafayette had stopped him before he had left, wondering what he was all dressed up for.

“Oh, Dinner with Jefferson.”

Lafayette looked at him, surprised. He quirked an eyebrow, suddenly intrigued.

“Is it a date?”

“Of course not!”

“Do you like him, Alexander?”

“Not at all.”

Alexander kindly shut the door, and walked towards the direction of the stairs. God, did he hate elevators. He took his sweet ol’ time, not even caring that it was nearing 7:30. He got to his car, and began driving. Upon arriving, he noticed Thomas standing outside; he was wearing a velvet sweater and black skinny jeans; something surprising for Alexander to see. Alexander was wearing  his nicest pair of jeans, and a tank top and arm bands; something odd for him to wear, compared to his usual baggy seats and sweatshirt.

“Alexander!” Thomas smiled, watching as his ‘friend’ stepped out of the car.

“Good evening, Thomas.” Alexander spoke, slightly suspicious of Thomas’ happy mood.

“Shall we go in?”

“After you.”

The two walked into the restaurant, settling for a small booth; near a window. Alexander stared at Thomas, who was staring right back, smiling.

“So,”

“Hm?”

“What did you want to discuss, Jefferson?”

“Thomas,” he corrected.

“Thomas,” Alexander repeated

“Anyway, I wanted to discuss your feelings…”

“My feelings!?” Alexander almost yelled, “What do you mean, ‘my feelings’?”

“Why you’re so upset, I want to help.”

“Thomas, if that is all you wanted to discuss… I have no time for such a foolish conversation. If that is all, I would like to be excused.” Alexander stood, prepared to leave.

“Wait, wait. Alexander; sit.” Thomas said, grabbing his arm as he walked by. He gently pulled him into the booth right by his side. “Talk with me, about anything. Please, just, stay.”

Alexander looked around, hesitant. Sighing, he spoke. “I will gladly confide in you on another occasion, Thomas. But not in such a public place.”

“Then at least have dinner with me.”

Alexander sighed, and slid out of the booth, and walked over to the other side, sitting down once again. “I will, but on one term.”

“Just say the word.”

“Admit this is a date.”

“What?”

Alexander sighed, rubbing his temple. He felt like he would regret this.

“Admit this is a date, and I’ll stay.”

Thomas looked at him dumbfounded, which quickly turned to a look of malice. “Fine, Alexander.” He reached across the table and grabbed his hand. “This is a date.”

“Thank you,” Alexander sighed, filled with relief. He leaned back in his chair; wait, why was he relieved? Did he want this to be a date? A part of him thought so.

Then why after dinner did he end up in the back of Thomas’ car, being completely smothered by a turned on, drunk, Thomas?

Alexander had walked out of the restaurant with Thomas, who had a little too much to drink. Thomas kept an arm around Alexander’s waist, as he led him to his car.

“I don’t need a ride.”

“I know,” Thomas said, opening the back seat; not so lightly pushing Alexander in.

“Thomas?”  Alexander, startled, scooted furthest away from him. He watched as Thomas climbed inside; closing the door behind him.

“Alexander- “ Thomas stared at him, lustfully. He scooted closer to him, which cause Alexander to push against the door. Thomas leaned in, and pressed his lips against Alexander’s forehead, before moving to his lips.

Alexander struggled, trying to push him away, but failing.

So now here he was, being maneuvered under Thomas; being pressed into the seat; being smothered in sloppy kisses.

It was too small in there, he couldn’t breathe. Not just because he was being kissed so much. “Thomas please,” Alexander finally managed, which got Thomas to briefly pull away. “I’m not ready for this.” Alexander said, frightened; shaking; scared.

Thomas stared at him, confused, which soon turned into some form of understanding. “Oh Alexander,” he caressed his cheek, “You know how beautiful you are, right?”

That’s what set him off. Alexander pushed Thomas completely off, and fiddled with the door till he got it open; immediately jumping out. He ran across the parking lot to his own car, and drove away. Not caring of the fate of Thomas at the moment. Only caring about getting as far away from him as possible.

He would admit that he did like the kissing and all, but not like that. Not when Thomas was drunk off his ass; not when Thomas wouldn’t even remember it in the morning.

That’s what made Alexander upset, the fact that only he would remember it.

That’s what he told Lafayette and himself as he cried into his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YES AN UPDATE


	5. Chapter 5

****

[3 missed calls]

[5 messages]

Alexander sighed, finally looking at his phone.

[12:50 am,] Jefferson:  Babe, c’mon

[9:03 am,] Jefferson: Oh shit, what happened last night?

[9:07 am,] Jefferson: Oh my god, Alexander I’m so sorry about last night

[9:08 am,] Jefferson: Can we please talk about this

[9:09 am,] Jefferson: Alexander?

Alexander, now frustrated, hit his head against his desk. Hopefully his teacher wouldn’t catch him on his phone; but he was pretty sneaky about this.

[10:10 am,] Alexander: Fuck you

[10:11 am,] Jefferson: Alexander, please think about this. I’m sorry about last night. You saw how much I had drunk. I’m sorry I put you in such-

Alexander turned his phone off, and laid his head on his desk. He felt like crying again; but he was so sick of crying. He felt tired of being weak. He knew he’d have to fix this, and he knew exactly how.

So how did he feel when Lafayette walked in on him cutting his arm?

And with Thomas Jefferson?

“Alexander Hamilton!”

Lafayette ran over to him, snatching away the razor. He basically threw it across the room.

“Give me your arm!”

“No!”

“Now!”

Alexander sighed, feeling tears welling up in his eyes. He showed his arm to Lafayette; revealing only about three cuts.

“Mon ami, I came just in time!” Lafayette ran to the bathroom, searching for a first aid kit.

Now alone, Thomas spoke:

“Hey,”

“Hey,”

Thomas shifted uncomfortably, before dropping his stuff, and sitting on the edge of Alex’s bed.

“I convinced Lafayette to let me come talk to you.”

Before he could move, Alexander’s arm was grabbed by Thomas.

“But I see we have another issue at hand.”

Alexander, now scared out of his mind, vaguely glanced at Thomas. His eyes were burning with an anger; but it didn’t seem to be anger with Alexander, but anger with himself. And also in his eyes seemed to be an underplayed sadness.

Alexander yanked his arm away.

“What do you want from me, Thomas Jefferson!?”

“I-“

He was interrupted as Lafayette returned; carrying rubbing alcohol and some band aids. Lafayette basically pushed Thomas off the bed, and sat across from Alexander.

“Arm,”

“Right,” Alexander held his arm out to Lafayette, who began treating the three, semi-deep cuts on Alexander’s arm.

“Mon ami,” Lafayette spoke as he worked. “We discussed this.”

“No more, I know.”

“Where did you get the razor?”

“Found it.”

Lafayette gave him a glare, one conveying that he knew Alexander was lying. He didn’t full out call him out on it. Finishing with treating his arm, Lafayette set his arm down let his arm rest.

“Mon ami,” he grabbed his face with his hands. “No more,” he said, pulling Alexander closer and kissing his forehead. He then proceeded to climb off the bed. “I’ll leave you two alone, then.” Lafayette then proceeded to leave.

“So,” Thomas said, once again sitting down.

“So,” Alexander repeated, glaring at him.

“Are you two-?”

“No, why would we be? You don’t kiss Madison? I honestly expected you do. Actually no, I expected you fuck him-“

“Alexander that is enough!”

A silence fell between the two, one that seemed to last for hours. When in reality it was five minutes.

“I’m really sorry for last night, Alexander.”

“You should be.”

“I’m trying here, Alexander. I want to make it up to you.”

“You can make it up by leaving.”

“Do you really want that?” Thomas asked.

Alexander refused to look at him. His head was screaming ‘Yes! Get the fuck away from me!’ While his heart was saying, ‘No, let him stay.’

For once in his entire life, Alexander listened to his heart.

“No, I don’t.” He stood from the bed, now pacing the room. “What I want is an explanation.”

“An explanation?”

“Why Jefferson, why did you invite me on a date? What was your intention?” ‘Why did you kiss me?’ He decided to leave the last part unspoken.

“Why do you think, Alexander? Because I like you,”

“A lot?”

“How much do you want me to describe on how I like you?”

“All of it,” Alexander sat down next to him. “Tell me EVERYTHING you find so interesting and attractive about me.” He said in a very sarcastic tone.

Thomas couldn’t help but chuckle.

Then his list began.

How he loved how he always rambled on, how he loved his brain, his impulse, his mysteriousness, everything. The list seemed to go on for hours, before Thomas noticed he was using ‘loved’ instead of ‘liked’.

“I still hate you, though, Alexander.”

“So you hate and love me?”

“Hate and LIKE you. Love is to strong.”

“Understood,” Alexander nodded, trying to confirm that in him.

“I also wanted to ask you something.”

“What is it Thomas?”

“I wanted to try again,” Thomas, not so subtly, reached for Alexander’s hand.

Alexander didn’t object.

“Another date. This time something without Alcohol,” Thomas looked at him. “I don’t want to mess up again. I don’t want to put you in that position.”

“Understood,”

“Anyway, I was thinking-“

“Enough,”

“Enough?”

“Plan it out,” Alexander stood, pulling up Thomas with him. “Then tell me the details.” Alexander started to push him towards the door. “I don’t want to hear your ideas now. Think of something clever, I know you can.” Alexander stepped around him, and opened the door. “So for now, I’m kicking you out.”

“Really?”

“Yes, get out, Jefferson.”

“Almost a pet name, my dear.”

Alexander scoffed, finally pushing him out.

Thomas turned around, just enough to see Alexander smile, before shutting the door.

Thomas smiled, dusted himself off, and then walked down the hallway, just too where Lafayette was waiting for it.

“How did it go?”

“He rolled with it. He’s up for another date.”

“That’s good,” Lafayette paused, before turning, grabbing Thomas by the collar, and pushing him up against the wall.

“If you _ever_ hurt my Alexander, or again, make him hurt _himself_. I will not hesitate to throw you in the Hudson. Understood?”

Thomas almost laughed, but decided not to due to the seriousness of the situation.

“Understood.”  He said, grinning.


	6. Jefferson you Fucker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for short chapter; I like the ending (Warning: Cheesy)

“A picnic, really?” Alexander spoke as Thomas led him by hand across a field.

“Yes, I thought it would be romantic.” Thomas said, not bothering to turn back to look at Alexander.

“Thomas Jefferson, are you mad? It’s snowing!” Shouting, Alexander stopped, grounding his feet so Thomas wouldn’t move him.

“I see that,” Thomas turned to meet Alexander’s gaze. “Can you stop being so stubborn? I have the perfect place, trust me.”

Alexander sighed, but let Thomas drag him on again.

They stopped under a large willow tree. Although there was snow on the ground under it, their wasn’t as much.

“See? Isn’t it much nicer under here?” Thomas chuckled, setting out the blanket and sitting down. He patted the spot next to him, inviting Alexander to sit down.

“You know, this is so weird.” Alexander took the invitation, sitting crisscross.

“What is?”

“Going on a date with you; I mean, who would have imagined us two…”

“Us two?” Thomas quirked an eyebrow.

“You know what I mean.”

Thomas laughed, a delight to Alexander’s ears, for once.

Thomas pulled out a couple of sandwiches, handing two to Alexander.

“Is all you have sandwiches?”

“No…” Thomas chuckled, “I have chips and stuff. I just made sure to make extra sandwiches…Since I didn’t know what you like, I mean.”

“How considerate,” Alexander snarked.

“Thanks,” Thomas snarked back, “I try.”

The two began to eat, which was mainly filled with awkwardly silence. Thomas would sometimes glance at Alexander, who would manage to meet his eyes. This usually resorted into one of them giggling; usually Thomas.

“So…” Alexander started, then taking a bite from his sandwich.

“Yes?”

“Why are you all of a sudden so…. Interested in me?”

Thomas thought about it for a moment, trying to find the right words.

“Well, you’re like… you’re like a cube. I hadn’t seen every side of you… but I became more interested in it. I guess I was never really…” he paused, sighing. “This is going to sound really dickish, but I use to think you were, like a square.”

“A square? SO you think I’m a bore or something?”

“No, it’s a metaphor.” Thomas face palmed, holding back laughter. “I use to think you were two dimensional, until….”

“That night.”

“Yes, I guess.”

“So are you only interested in me because I have a mental disorder?!” Alexander spat, anger flurrying up inside of him.

“What? No! I-“

“That’s what you’re making it sound like.”

“Can you let me talk?”

Alexander closed his eyes, but nodded.

“Ok, so. I thought you were only one sided, you know? Like a square. But then, I realized you were so much more than that. You are like a cube. Many sides to you, some I haven’t seen.”  He paused. “I want to see those sides of you, Alexander. I want to see your happiness, I want to see your sadness, your-“

“Getting cheesy, Jefferson.”

“Thomas,” he corrected.

“Thomas,” Alexander repeated.

“So I’m basically getting to know you.”

“So this isn’t really a date, is it?”

“Well…”

“It’s fine if it isn’t, I can accept that-“

“Do you want it to be a date?”

“I mean…” Alexander paused. “Do you want it to be a date? I mean, what was that kissing that-“

“I was drunk, Alexander.”

“That’s true.”

Thomas sighed. “I want this to be a date, I really do. Do you know how attractive you are? I mean I like you for other reasons to, like-“

“Rambling, Je- Thomas.”

“Ok, sorry.” Thomas put his second sandwich down. “Now, do you want it to be a date? I mean, you told me you weren’t ready-“

“For sex. I’m not ready for Sex.”

“I wasn’t-“

“I thought you were going to rape me or something that night, Thomas.”

Thomas stayed silent, allowing for Alexander to continue.

“I don’t know if you would have gone that far or not. But I’m ready for dating, and…” he paused, and then leaned over and placed a light kiss on Thomas’ lips. “And I’m ready for kissing.”

Thomas blushed, but laughed. “Alrighty Alexander. You’re going to be a handful.”

Alexander smiled.

“I already am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jefferson is a bit insecure; may be a plot point later on ;)


	7. Cuties

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eliza and Alexander are weeaboos

[1 month later]

“I think that was brilliant,” Eliza said as the season credits went by.

“I can agree, Eliza, dear.” Alexander laughed.

“Can we watch the next season?”

“Eliza, I already told you I have a meeting today-“

“But Alexander, it's Sailor Moon! Nonetheless we meet the outer scouts next season…”

“I know, I know. We’ve marathoned this two other times.”’

“Exactly! We should full on marathon it-“

“Eliza,”

“Alexander!” She punched him in the shoulder, before wrapping her arms around him and cuddling close. “You’re not allowed to leave.”

“Eliza, I have to meet Thomas-“

“Thomas this, Thomas that! Ever since you two started dating-“

“We’re not dating-“

“You seem to have no time for me!”

Alexander gave a pitiful smile, before kissing Eliza’s forehead. “Darling, I’ll always have time for you.”

Eliza smiled, until there was a knock on the door.

“Oh ho, Alexander!” Thomas’ voice chimed.

“That would be him,” Alexander spoke as he got up and turned off the TV. He then helped Eliza up, before walking her to the door.

“Oh, I didn’t know you had company-“

“Oh, I was just leaving.” Eliza curtseyed, even though she wasn’t wearing a dress.

Thomas grabbed her hand and kissed it, “M’lady, it was an honor to be in your presence.”

“Oh for the love of god will you two stop being so overdramatic.” Alexander groaned.

Eliza and Thomas giggled, before Eliza pushed past Thomas, only waving as a goodbye.

“So,” Thomas stepped into the room, shutting the door behind him. “I thought you two weren’t together.”

“Thomas, you’ve heard the rumors. You know for a fact that I’m not dating Eliza anymore.”

And this was the truth. It wasn’t a lie that Alexander and Eliza were the most popular couple a year ago. The two only dated for two months, but that was long enough for the two to realize their differences. Eliza realized she wasn’t into men, and frankly, Alexander was. Of course, breaking up and not revealing any circumstances led to rumors. Rumors such as Alexander had been cheating on with Eliza with James Reynolds girlfriend, Maria. This was not the truth; although, Maria wasn’t totally out of the equation. It turned out Eliza had her eyes set on Maria for a little while. A long while, actually.

The break up did not end up splitting Eliza and Alexander apart, though. Instead, it brought them closer together; in more of a sibling type relationship.

“I know it’s just-“

“Uh-oh.”

“What?”

Alexander grabbed Thomas by the collar, and pushed him up against the door.

He quirked an eyebrow; “Someone’s jealoussss.” He dragged out the last word.

“Am not,”

“Are too,”

“Am not,”

“Are too,”

“Am not,”

“Are too,”

“Am not,”

“Are too,”

“Am-“

“My god, will you two just stop arguing and let me in my room!” They heard Lafayette yell from outside the door.

Alexander chuckled, before releasing Thomas; allowing him to step out of the way.

“My Mon ami’s, what are you on about now?”

“Thomas is jealous.”

“Am not-“

“Over nothing…”

Alexander poked Thomas’ side, before jumping onto the bed, rolling up in the covers like a burrito.

Lafayette shook his head. “Well, can you two get on going? I have to get ready.”

“Ready for what?” Alexander perked up from his blanket burrito.

“I have a meeting with Mr. Washington.”

“Laf, we all know what meeting means…” Thomas chuckled, stepping close to him. “What you trying to hideeeeeeee-“

“Nothing, I got in trouble and now I have to meet with him.” Lafayette sighed, but was grinning from ear to ear. “Now will you two rascals get out of my room?”

“”It’s my room too.” Alexander whined, but was dragged out of bed by Thomas.

“We’ll be on our way.” Thomas locked an arm around Alexander’s waist, leading him out of the room.

                                                                                                …

“Where are you taking me?”

“I’m about to change your life.”

“You sound like Angelica.”

“She gave me some tips,” Thomas laughed. “Now get in my car.”

“That sounds scary.”

“Alexanderrrrrrr,” Thomas whined.

“Okay, okay!”

Thomas drove the two off, seeming to be in a hurry.

“Why are you going so f-“

Thomas swerved, avoiding hitting another car. A horn blasted at him, but he ignored it.

“Thomas, calm down!”

“Alexander, dear, listen.” He stopped at a red light; turning to look at Alex. “We can’t be late.”

“Then why didn’t we go earlier, then?”

“Because…. You’ll see.” Thomas stepped on the peddle, projecting the car forward.

After some crazier driving, the car was finally stopped at a field.

“So this is what we couldn’t be late for?” Alexander spoke as he stepped out of the car. “A field?”

“Hush it,” Thomas was grinning, walking to the back of the car; opening the trunk.

Alexander cranked his head to see what Thomas was getting. He was actually surprised when he came up with parts to a telescope.

Alexander looked at the darkening sky, then mentally face palmed, before physically doing it.

“The meteor shower’s tonight!”

“Ding ding ding, we have a winner!” Thomas put the parts down, before looping an arm around Alex’s waist; then proceeding to kiss his cheek. He then got back to work on assembly of the telescope. “I knew you wanted to see it, but wouldn’t allow yourself to go out or anything. So I thought- ‘Hey, If I convince him it’s a date, he’ll go!’ And badabing! Badaboom! It worked!” Thomas did a little victory dance.

“Thomas Jefferson you are a mad man!”

“But I’m your mad man!” He laughed, his loud usually outburst.

Thomas set up the telescope; now noticing that other people were gathering.

“Did we really need the telescope? We can see it from here…”

“Yes, I know. But telescopes allow us to see things beautiful up close.” Thomas turned the telescope to where it was pointing at Alexander, than looked through it. He laughed as Alexander blushed, having gotten the message.

Alexander than smiled, walking over to Thomas and hugging him.

“Thank you,”

“No problem, love.”

“Love?”

“Yes, because I think I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll end up writing Washington and Lafayette's 'Meeting' as another story altogether. I will link it in the next chapter. Also sorry if Jefferson was a little ooc in this chapter. Thanks for reading :)


	8. Smut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut warning! Sorry for a long wait, long chapter for the long wait ;)

“Alexander, Alexander…”

He kept his eyes shut, trying to ignore the voice that was trying to beckon him from his sleep.

“Five more minutes, please.”

“You can sleep as long as you like, I’m just letting you know I’m leaving.”

Alexander’s eyes shot open. He immediately shot up from his lying position, looking at his partner, who was sitting at the end of the bed.

“Why are you leaving-?”

“Lafayette should be back soon, and I really don’t want him to see us in the same bed…”

Alexander took note that Thomas was fully dressed now, which he hadn’t been when they fell asleep last night. “Baby…” he put his hand on his.

“Don’t look so sad, I’ll see you later, okay?” he smiled at him, before leaning closer and lightly pecking his lips. He got up from the bed, and headed towards the door.

“Thomas, please?” he said, more like a question.

“Later, I promise.” He smiled, before exiting.

Alexander lied back down, and decided to recall the events of last night.

                                                                                                                ***

“Love? Me?” Alexander was blushing, yet smiling ear to ear. “You’re joking, right?” he laughed, trying to fight the anxiety that was flooding over him.

“No, Alexander. Jeez, stop laughing. It’s not supposed to be funny, Alexander!”

Alexander stopped laughing, but smiled at him. He leaned up and kissed him. “Love ya too, Hun.”

Thomas hesitantly chuckled, before wrapping an arm around the other’s waist and pulling him over to the telescope.  “It’s starting.”

Ever heard the term of watching someone do something they love?

That’s how Thomas felt; watching as Alexander excitedly watched the sky. Alexander may have had more of in an interest in politics and history, but he did have a secret love of science; most certainly, space. He always was curious about the unknown.

Smiling, Thomas walked over and tapped his boyfriend on the shoulder. “Alexander?” once the other man turned to him; he grabbed his hands, looking him in the eye; before glancing at the sky.

“Wow the stars are beautiful tonight.”

“Yeah, they are.”

“You know who else is beautiful?”

Alexander blushed, “Who?”

“Uh, France.”

Thomas grinned as Alexander glared at him. He began laughing as Alexander pulled away, and turned back to look through the telescope. It was beginning to die out, but Alexander was just watching the reminiscence.

That was, until he felt a hand on his ass.

He quickly turned to Thomas, blushing. “Thomas? Just what do you think you’re doing?”

Thomas put his hands up in defeat. “Just horny, that’s all!”

Alexander narrowed his eyes, but grabbed Thomas by his shirt; pulling him down to look him in the eye.

“You wanna fuck?”

“What?” Thomas averted his eyes, blushing.

“Do you want to fuck? Particularly the object of fuckery being me.”

Thomas then looked him in the eye. “Uh… Don’t you like, not wanna do that?”

“What do you mean?” Alexander let go of him, suddenly looking like a confused, innocent puppy.

“I…I mean….” He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, “I mean, remember after our first date….” He trailed off.

“Thomas, that was different. Like you just said, it was our _first_ date. Now is different-“

“I was joking about being horny, Alexander-“

“Now, I mean, I’m ready and stuff.”

Thomas sighed. “Seriously?”

“Seriously. Now, why don’t we pack up here, and head back to my dorm?”

Thomas moved and began disassembling the telescope, but turned back to Alexander. “Did you forget Lafayette?”

“What?”

“Lafayette, your roommate?”

Alexander face palmed at his own stupidity. “You’re right! But Lafayette’s a smart guy… He could go bunk with John and Herc for the night.” He shrugged, “Unless, he is still with Mr. Washington.”

The two shared a laugh, before resuming gathering their belongings. They got in the car, and began the not-so-reckless drive back to the dorms. Thomas’ hand rested on Alexander’s thigh, although at times, it would briefly crawl up. Alexander would just blush, ignoring it the best he could.

They briefly stopped at a 7-eleven, Thomas going alone inside claiming he needed to get something important. Of course Alexander figured it was lube and condoms, but was delighted when he also brought him back a Pepsi.

They finished the drive to the dorms, and walked quietly to Alexander’s. When they went inside, Alexander did a clear search for a sign of Lafayette; there was not a trace of him.

“All to ourselves,” he said upon returning to the bedroom, where Thomas was waiting; just casually lying on Alexander’s bed.

“Well, you’re already making yourself at home.”

“C’mere.”

Alexander did so, climbing and lying on top of Thomas.

“Now, Alexander,” Thomas ran his hand over his back and his ass, stopping it there. “You’re positive, right?”

“Positive about doing this? I guess…”

“No, Alexander. I need a consensual yes.”

“Yes, Thomas. I gave you full permission to take me and make love to me.”

Thomas just stared at him, before ruffling his hair with his other hand. “You’re so weird.”

“And cute,”

“And cute.” He confirmed.

Alexander giggled as Thomas leaned up and began nipping his neck, not too hard, mainly little bites and kisses; a couple of licks too.

“Oh c’mon, Thomas. You can go hard on me!”

“You’ll be screaming that later.”

“Ohh, kinky.” Alexander teased; rolling off and lying next to him. He grabbed Thomas’ shirt and pulled it off. Gawking at his physic.

“What? See something you like?”

“Uhh….” Alexander just decided to run his hand over his abs, “uhh, yea….”

“Off with yours now, since you’re the striper.”

“No….”

“Why?” Thomas moved to take the other’s shirt off, but was stopped.

“I’m not hot like you.”

“Alexander,” he cupped his cheek. “You don’t have to have muscle to be hot. Jesus Christ just take your shirt off, I need it.”

“Pedophile.”

“I’m like a year older than you.”

Alexander giggled, pulling his shirt off, then quickly cuddling up to Thomas; who just pushed him away. He blushed as Thomas looked him up and down.

“Alright.”

“Alright?”

“No, I mean, you’re hot. My lord you are, but I just want more.”

Alexander was blushing hardcore as Thomas began to remove his pants, and once that task was done, removed his own.

“You know,” Alexander said, lightly kissing Thomas’ jaw, “I always thought sex was rougher, like making out. I didn’t think it could be slow like this.”

“Were you expecting something?” Thomas slid his hands in the back over Alexander’s boxers, giving Alex’s ass a squeeze.

“I mean…”

“Have you done this before?”

Alexander remained silent, until Thomas squeezed his ass harder, causing an ‘eep’ to escape out of him.

“Well?”

“Yes. You haven’t?”

“Not with a man.”

“Oh…” Alexander looked at him, trying to search his eyes.

“I’ve seen enough porn and stuff.”

“Gross, dude.”

Thomas laughed, then pulling off Alexander’s boxers, much to Alexander’s embarrassment.

“F-fine! Daddy… Two can play at that game!” Alexander pulled off Thomas’ boxers as well.

“Daddy?” he snorted, but grinned. “I like it, it suits.”

“Don’t get cocky.”

“You seem a bit cocky yourself.” And in a swift movement, he grabbed his dick, giving it a squeeze. “Well, in the sense you’re erect.”

Alexander bit his lip, his face caressed crimson.

“Be loud for me, baby.”  Thomas said, running his thumb over the slit.

Alexander fought back a moan; as well as trying to push Thomas away. “I refuse to let you give me a handjob!”

“But babe…”

“No! It’s too embarrassing...”

Thomas looked at him stone face. “Fine,” he pushed Alexander down so he was lying on his back.

“Thomas-“

“Stay,” He commanded, sliding down on the bed; then in between Alexander’s legs.

“Thomas don’t you dare!”

Thomas merely smirked up at him, before taking his dick in his mouth.

Alexander resisted the urge to buck his hips, and instead moaned very loudly; aware that his neighboring dorms could hear him. He didn’t think they’d mind, though, with all the times he heard them.

“Thomas- please!” Alexander grabbed him by his floofy hair, and tried pulling him off; which he ended up doing.

“What is it?”

“I don’t want you to-“

“Ok, ok.” Thomas crawled back up beside him. “What do you want me to do, baby?”

“I want you, I want you……” alexander blushed, yet sighed saying it. “I want you too fuck me.”

He blushed even more as Thomas broke out into a cheeky grin.

“Alright, have you ever been prepped? Or prepped yourself?” Thomas asked while leaning over the bed and searching for the lube and condoms.

“Uh… what do you mean?”

“I mean have you ever fingered your own asshole.”

Alexander blushed at him being so blunt. “Uh… no…”

“Okay,” he shifted back down on the bed, telling Alexander to lift up and then shoving a pillow under his ass. He put some lube on his fingers, before lightly pushing one in. Alexander sighed, the sheets balled in his hands.

Thomas put in a second finger almost immediately after, beginning to slowly finger him. Alexander whined, clenching and unclenching around his fingers.

“You better not do that around my dick, might make me come on the spot.”

“Noted,” Alexander giggled breathlessly.

Thomas fingered him for a bit more time, before pulling the out. He then rolled on a condom, and slicked himself up. He aligned himself, and looked to Alexander for confirmation, before pushing himself inside slowly.

“Thomas…” Alexander whined, grinding down onto his dick.

“Eager, are we?”

“I want the pain….please….”

Thomas looked at him, albeit a little shocked, before pulling out slightly, then slamming back in; causing a moan from Alexander, who arched his back slightly.

Thomas then set a pace, not steady, for he would sometimes slow down or speed up.

Meanwhile, Alexander was losing himself. He was becoming louder as he came closer to climax; and as Thomas slammed his prostate hard, he moaned louder than he had before. It only took a few more thrusts for him to spill onto himself. After a few more thrusts, Thomas came inside of him (well, the condom, technically).

Panting, Thomas pulled out, and took the condom off; carelessly tossing it onto the floor.

“See, that was fun. Alexander?”

Alexander was now curled up in a ball, pressing himself against the wall.

“Alexander? You okay?” Thomas scooted over to him, turning him to face him.

Alexander was blushing, still curled into a ball. “Uh… yeah… Just, I don’t want you seeing me all hot and bothered…”

Thomas smiled, tugging Alexander’s hair out of its ponytail.

Alexander snuggled up to him, giggling a little.

“God you’re cute.” Thomas admitted, smoothing his hair back. “But if I may ask a question?”

“Hm?”

“It might be a mood killer…”

“Yes?”

“Who did you sleep with?”

Alexander stayed silent for a moment, lost in thought; he realized he loved this man, and could very well confide in him.

“Aaron Burr.”


	9. 'Calm Morning'

Looking at the time, around 10 o'clock, Alexander reluctantly climbed out of bed. He did his morning routine; shower, cut, cloth himself and cook breakfast in their little makeshift kitchen. 

He faintly heard the click of a door, but ignored it until he felt a hand on his ass.

“Morning, Mon ami.” Lafayette wrapped his other arm around him, and nuzzled his face into his neck.

“Someone doesn't know personal space.”

“Bitch, please.” Lafayette pulled away from him, giving him a hard smack on the ass. “I know personal space, I just love invading yours.”

“Gay,”

“I know you are but what am I?”

The two shared a laugh. Alexander resumed making breakfast; scrambled eggs. He finished them up and slapped them onto two plates.

“Aw, Mon ami. You shouldn't have.”

“Not for you.”

“Then who are they for?”

“Me, myself, and I.”

“Shouldn't there be three plates then?”

“Illuminati confirmed.” 

Lafayette laughed, snatching the other plate from him, and sitting at the table. Alexandr joined him; digging in.

“So where have you been?” Alexander muffled, his mouth full.

“What do you mean?” Lafayette was more courteous, waiting till after he chewed.

“You didn’t come home last night.”

“Oh uh….yeah….”

“So?”

“Mr Washington- he and I talked.”

“All night?”

“Uh, yeah. Y’know, about history and politics and...stuff.”

“Stuff?” Alexander raised an eyebrow. “Like, sex stuff?”

“No, no, no!”

“Laf, you’re a terrible liar.”

Lafayette sighed. He looked at Alexander, his eyes pleading. “Promise not to tell?”

“Laf, you did not!”

“Yeah…”

“You slept with Mr. Washington!”

“Yeah…” 

Alexander jumped up, doing a little dance. “Oh my god, I can’t believe-”

“Alexander!” Lafayette’s hands were suddenly on Alexander’s hips, holding him steady. His face was grim. “You can’t tell a soul. You know what would happen?”

Alexander nodded, but couldn't wipe the grin off of his face.

Lafayette sighed, “Stop smiling.”

“I ship it.”

Lafayette playfully slapped him, and was tackled; hitting the ground with a thud. “Shit, Alexander. Calm down!” Lafayette laughed, Alexander now pinning him. 

“You have to tell me the details!” 

“Ok, I will. But first things first-” he pushed him off of him, and ended up helping him up, “How’d your date go?”

Alexander blushed, and began giggling. He got on his toes, and whispered to Lafayette. “It was a good thing you didn’t come home last night.”

Lafayette looked at him stunned. “..What?”

“You’re not the only one who got fucked last night.” Alexander was smiling like a madman. 

Lafayette grabbed him by the shoulders, “Thomas did not.”

“Thomas did. Me, particularly.”

“Consent?”

“Yes, Laf. Calm down!”

Lafayette grinned, and put him in a headlock. He nuggie him, them both laughing as he did.

The laughing was cut short when a loud pounding was heard from the door. Lafayette released him, and the two walked to the door.

Alexander opened the door to reveal Eliza, a sniveling mess.

“Alexander!” She basically forced her way into the room, jumping into his arms. 

“What is wrong, my dear?”

“He found out!”

Alexander's face went grim.

“What?” Lafayette asked.

Alexander turned to him, still holding Eliza.

“James Reynolds.”

That is all Lafayette needed to know.

Alexander guided Eliza to the kitchen, helping her to sit. He sat across from her, holding her hand across the table.

“My dear, what happened?” 

Lafayette, awkwardly standing there, got a tissue box for Eliza.

“He walked in on us… We were only making out, but she was shirtless….”

Alexander nodded, “But what happened after that? How did he react?”

“He just stomped out, but I saw him approaching me earlier, so I ran from him…”

“I guess he walked in on you last night?”

“Yea…” She choked back a sob, “I don’t know what to do…” she put her face in her hands. 

“Hey,” Alexander moved her hands, and raised her chin to look at him.

“Hey,” she responded, not meeting his gaze.

“I’ll talk to him, ok?” 

“Alexander, don’t!” 

But it was too late; Alexander was already standing, about to walk towards the door.

“Eliza. It’ll be okay. Just hang here with Laf, ok?” he turned to Lafayette. “Make her something to eat, will you please?” Lafayette nodded, but followed Alexander into the other room. 

“Are you sure about this, Alexander?”

“It’ll be fine.” He gave him a kiss on each cheek, then exited.

***

Alexander didn’t have to look hard for James; he was hanging out with a couple of his friends in their usual location.   
“James, James!”

“Oh look who it is, the first one to cheat my with my girlfriend.”

“James, you know aswell as I that their is nothing between Maria and I, and there has never been.”

“Alright, alright.” James put his hands up in defeat, and fully faced him. “What are you bothering me about?”

“I’m here to talk to you about something that happened last night.”

“Ah, you’re here to talk to me about our whore girlfriends?” he laughed. “Well, I should say ex’s, shouldn't I?” he nudged him with his elbow, laughing.

“WHat do you mean?” 

“Well, with how much Maria has cheated with me… Nonetheless, with woman.” he gave Alexander a slap on the back. “So I gave ‘her a beating and left her. I don’t need that whore, anyway.”

“You, what!?”  he slapped him across the face. “How dare you ever even hit a woman, nonetheless repetitively!”

“Did you just fucking slap me, fag?!” James grabbed him by the shirt, holding him up to eye level.

“Yea I did, and I probably should do worse than whatever you did to her.”

“I did  _ nothing _ to her. Did you really believe I would ever actually hurt her? I fucking loved her you fucking prick.”

“You’re lying, i’ve seen her come to class with a black eye before.”

James eyes narrowed. 

“Seems you’ll be too.”

“What-”

James threw Alexander down onto the ground, standing over him; his friends joining him.

“You think you can just can confront me about  _ my _ personal business? I’m guessing that slut Eliza told you, huh? Need to kick her ass, too.”

“I wouldn't let you even a yard near her.”

“You can’t exactly do that if you're physically incapable.”

James the proceeded to kick Alexander in the ribs, repetitively. One of his friends kicked him in the back.

Alexander grunted, trying to wiggle away. James smirked, waving his friends off, before grabbing Alexander again, and punching him repeatedly. He also kneed him in the stomach a couple of times.

Once he felt that his point was across, he dropped ALexander again.

“Dont ever try to confront me again or there will be more where that came from.”

Then James and his friends were gone.

Alexander lied there for a few minutes, before slowly standing; wincing at the pain. He knew he couldn't return to Eliza and Laf like this; and he most certainly couldn't drive upstate to his apartment; so he hobbled his way back to the dorms.

To Thomas’ dorm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	10. That one with everyone

The door cracked open slightly.

“Alexander? Thomas isn’t-” the door suddenly swung open, revealing a shocked James Madison. “Whoa man, what happened to you?”

“That isn’t a question i’m here to answer. You said Thomas wasn’t here? Okay, i’ll be on my way-” 

He was stopped by an arm gripping his tightly. “Alexander?”

He sighed, before turning around, looking at him. “Hi, Thomas.”

Thomas’ eyes widened. “Room; now.” He ordered, pushing Alexander inside when he didn’t comply.

Thomas ushered Alexander into the bedroom, then acknowledged James, who was following. “Could I have a minute with him? Can you maybe get a first aid kit?”

James nodded, and headed off.

Thomas handed Alexander a box of tissues, then sat next to him. “Alright, are you gonna explain?”

“Um, I got beat up.”

“Yeah, I see that.” Thomas pinched the bridge of his nose. “Who? Why?”

“I can’t say.”

“Alexander…”

Alexander scooted over, then basically slid onto his lap; still holding a tissue up to his bleeding nose. 

“You’re gonna get blood on me…”

“I don’t care; hold me.” 

So he did, gently rocking them while waiting for James to return. He did about five minutes later, carrying the first aid kit.

“Alright, i’m gonna let James fix you up, OK Alex?” 

Alexander nodded, sliding off Thomas’ lap and onto the floor; in front of James.

“Damn Alexander… that may need stitches…”

“Just put something on it and we’ll pretend it didn’t happen.”

James sighed, but complied. He then treated the rest of Alexander’s injuries; also instructing him to get an x-ray, (which he knew he wouldn't end up doing).

James admired his work; “OK, I think you can run along now.” 

“Actually, Can I stay here for a little while?” Alexander looked to Thomas, asking him. 

“Sorry Alexander, we have plans…”

“Can I at least just hang in your dorm? Please?”

“Alexander, what is this about?”

“If Laf finds out…”

“Alexander,” Thomas pulled him up off the floor, leading him by the waist to the door. “I’m sure he’ll understand.” He opened said door, and pushed him out.

“But-”

“Love you.” Then Thomas promptly slammed the door in his face.

Sighing, Alexander decided to go out for the day. It was only around One now, so he could find things to do in that time. He eventually decided on the library. His friends didn’t like to hang out there much, did they?

Except one.

You know the one.

Angelica

...and Peggy.

“Alexander, what the hell happened!?” Angelica had rushed over when she had seen him, Peggy following.

“Oh you know,” he laughed, “couldn't shut my big mouth.” It wasn’t a complete lie, after all.

Angelica sighed, sitting across from him; Peggy next to him.

“Well, that ain’t a surprise.” Peggy giggled, ignoring the glare from her sister.

“Geez, Alex. Whoever did this got you good.” Angie grabbed his chin, admiring his beaten face.

“Oi, Alexander!” Peggy poked him.

Breaking out of Angie’s grasp, he turned to her. “Hm?”

“Did you know Hercules asked me out!?”

Alexander smiled. “He did, now didn’t he?”

“Yep!” she giggled, throwing an arm over his shoulder. “Plan my wedding already!”

Alexander laughed, patting her arm. “Don’t get ahead of-”

“Mrs. Peggy Mulligan!”

They laughed Angelica shaking her head in disapproval. “Anyway,” she coughed, “Who did this?”

“Did what?”

“This.” she waved at his face.

“Oh, I was at a bar last night. Drunk and everything…”

“I thought you had a date with Thomas last night?” Peggy asked.

“First of all, It was not a date. Second, I just went to a bar with him; didn’t shut my mouth at the appropriate time, and well…” he waved at his face.

“Oh,”

“That’s our Alexander.” 

Alexander and Peggy high fived; Angelica shook her head. 

The trio hung out their for a couple of hours, studying on and off.

Until….

“Alexander Hamilton!”

“Shhh!” 

He knew the voice from anywhere, not the shh, but the one who screamed his name.

He turned, glancing over his shoulder to see John Laurens and Hercules Mulligan stomping toward him.

“Where have you been!?”

“Shh!”

“Oh my god…” John covered his mouth, having barely muttered that. He looked at Alexander, then back at Hercules. 

“We were...We were worried sick about you…” Hercules said, looking between Alex and John.

“Now before you say anything else….” he paused, and sighed. “I’m fine, everything's good.”

“What happened!?” John grabbed his face, holding it in his hands. 

“He got in a bar fight last night!” Peggy giggled, which made Hercules smile. 

“Oh?” John now was scowling at Alexander, but chuckled; since he had done the same before.

“Well, Laf sent for you.”

“Lafayette did?” Alexander bit his lip, knowing Lafayette would know what had happened. He internally cursed himself.

“Yeah, he said you didn’t come home this morning after going to find-” John stopped, and stared hard at Alexander. He grabbed his arm and pulled him from his seat. “We’re going.”

“What?” Peggy and Angelica said in unison.

Hercules looked at Alexander, getting the same idea as John. 

The two walked out, dragging Alexander with them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School and shit; But i'm back baby.


	11. That One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short but intense timely chapter

Lafayette was pacing the room when they returned; Alexander barely in tow. He looked to them, and froze when he saw him; him as in Alexander. OK, there are A LOT of him’s in this. 

Anyway,

He rushed over to Alexander, cupping his face, and began kissing all of his face. 

“Laf, what the fuck?!”

“Kisses make you feel better.”

Alexander laughed, “I have a boyfriend!”

“So do I!”

The two laughed, even more so when John and Hercules screamed “WHO!?” at the both of them.

Lafayette soon turned serious, though.

“So, Reynolds did this to you eh?”

Alexander nodded.

“And who treated you?”

“James.”

“REYNOLDS BET YOU UP THEN FIXED YA UP?!”

“No James Madison Jesus fucking Christ.” he sighed, “Too many James.”

“We’re going to bed now.”

“No we’re not.”

“Salut John and Hercules.”

The two prior left, leaving just Laf and Alexander.

Laf began pacing the two’s bedroom while Alexander stared at him.

“What the hell were you thinking, Alexander. We told you this would happen!”

“Well, technically-”

“Lie down.”

“What?”

“We’re going to bed.” Laf jumped into bed next to the now lying Alexander, and pulled him close. “Don’t scare me like that again.”

“Scare you?”

“You didn’t come back all day…”

Alexander glanced at the clock, it was around 7:00 pm. “Oh, sorry. I went and studied with the Schuyler's….”

“So Eliza knows?”

“The other two.”

“Oh.”

They fell into a silence, which was later interrupted by Lafayette’s snoring.

Alexander giggled a little, then closed his restless eyes.

He slept peacefully.

 

***

 

2 weeks passed without incident, Alexander healed fine. Thomas and him had sex three more times, which was amazing. Alexander wasn’t a virgin, but he felt like he was before he had sex with Thomas. It was so amazingly passionate, and-

His phone was buzzing. He glanced away from his homework, not recognizing the number that texted him. He looked at the text.

“Dear sir…”

His heart stopped

“This is James Reynolds.”

He forced himself to read on.

“I have some information for you. You see, a friend of mine lives near one of our teachers…”

Why was he being so cryptic, Alexander thought.

“George Washington. And just the last night, he saw something rather strange. He saw a friend of yours take a visit!”

Alexander sighed, texting a reply. 

“So?”

A reply immediately came back. 

“He told me he heard strange noises that night. They sounded like….moans? ‘Does Lafayette really sound like that?’ he said. Anyway-”

Alexander dropped his phone and ran down the hall. Not far was James Reynolds room. He banged on the door, anger flurrying through him.

“Alexander.”

“James.”

“Come in, why don’t we talk about this properly?”

Alexander pushed past him, and walked into the makeshift kitchen. He took a seat.

“Making yourself at home?”

“Let’s just get this over with.”

“So Lafayette is sleeping with George Washington?” James asked, sitting across from him.

“No,”

“Is that a lie?”

“...No.”

“You hesitated.”

Alexander sighed, not responding.

“I can keep his secret.”

“Ok?”

“At a price.”

“Which is?”

James stood up, and walked over and stood behind Alexander.

“What are you doing?”

James ran a hand over Alexander’s chest, unzipping his jacket.

“James?”

“Sleep with me, and i’ll keep his secret.”

Alexander gulped, “Is their another way?”

“No,” 

Alexander bit his lip, ‘Do it for Lafayette’, he thought.

“Say yes, all you have to do. I won’t rape you, Alexander.”

Alexander hesitantly nodded, ‘Do it for Lafayette’.

That’s what he thought as he was roughly fucked that night.

 

He would wake up in James Reynolds bed for the next month, almost every night; crying.

 

He couldn't take it anymore after that.

 

One night, he tore away from his grasp, and ran out of the room half naked, covered in bruises- a mix of being hit and getting hickeys.

He ran down the hall, past his room and a long way; ignoring the stares he was receiving. He slumped  against Thomas’ door and began bawling his eyes out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	12. What an eventful Time

The door swung open after about two minutes, Alexander falling backwards into the room. He stared up through blurred vision at James Madison.

James looked at him with pity. “Thomas isn’t here.” 

Alexander jumped up and almost ran but was grabbed by James.

“Man, calm down. Can you calm down? Slow ya breathing down man, Alexander?”

Alexander was breathing heavily, his whole body shaking. He collapsed into James’ arms, who pulled him further into the room; then closing the door. He set Alexander on Thomas’ bed, and leaned down in front of him.

“Hey buddy, what happened? Do you need me to get someone?”

“No….” He muttered out, still uncontrolling of his actions.

“Slow your breathing down, in and out, in and out.”

Alexander did not obey, and instead did the opposite.

There was a click, and the door opened. In a minute later walked Thomas, who dropped the backpack he was holding. He leaped onto his bed and pulled Alexander into his arms. 

“Alexander? Alexander, baby, calm down.” he held him tightly.

“Thomas, if he doesn’t calm down-”

“He will,” Thomas stared at James intently.

James sighed, and headed out the door, leaving the two alone.

“Alexander, breathe.”

Alexander seemed to obey him, but only a little.

“Ok, better, but a little more, ok?” Thomas’ eyes widened, now noticing along with the bruises were bite marks. He decided not to mention it until Alexander fully calmed down.

Alexander calmed down after another couple of minutes, even sitting up in Thomas’ grasp. 

“I should go-”

“No you’re gonna explain to me what happened-” he pointed at his neck “and where these came from.” 

“The bruises?”

“Yes, and the bitemarks.”

Alexander gulped, and stood, only being barely released by Thomas’ grasp. 

“I-” he sighed, “Please just hear me out.”

“Okay,” Thomas was afraid for what would come next, but trusted Alexander. 

“Someone found out something bad about Lafayette, and if they told people, someone Lafayette loves would have gotten arrested…” he paused, breathing. “So they said they’d stay quiet if I-”

“If you?”

“Slept with them.”

Thomas bit his lip, holding back tears. “So you cheated on me?”

“It wasn’t like that, It was for Lafayette. I didn’t want to-”

“You slept with someone else!”

“I know it sounds bad, but I-”

“Who was it?!”

“James Reynolds…”

“Reynolds!? He is a deadman-”

“No, you can’t hurt him!”

“So you love him now, huh? Fine, I get it. You don’t want me anymore.”

“Thomas, you’re overreacting!” he paused. “I love you so much, I did it to protect Lafayette…”

Thomas stared at him, a few tears escaping. “You know what, Alexander, you wanna know the truth?”

“What?”

“The truth!”

Alexander stared at him, but being curious, nodded.

“This whole thing.”

“Whole thing?”

“Us.”

“What about us?”

“It was a bet.”

Alexander’s eye widened, and he began to shake again. 

THe two then stood in silence, tears rolling down each of their faces.

“Who?”

“John Laurens.”

Alexander looked up at him, choking back a sob. He put a hand over his mouth.

“If it makes it any better, Hamilton, he was drunk.” Thomas grabbed him by the arm, and dragged him to the door. “I guess we’re through then.”

Alexander stared ahead as he was pushed out, but turned before Thomas closed the door. “Did you ever love me, Thomas?”

“That’s Jefferson to you.” 

And the door closed. 

That was all the answer he needed. He walked sadly back to his room, ignoring James Madison as he passed.

***

As soon as the door was closed, Thomas almost collapsed, holding onto the door for leverage. He made his way back to the bedroom, lying down.

“What have I done?! Why did I tell him all of that!?”

“Because he cheated on you, Thomas!” 

He began to argue with himself, outloud.

Until the door opened, James walking in. 

His heart broke seeing the heartbroken Thomas. 

He sat on the edge of the bed, patting Thomas’ leg. “What happened, bud?”

“Alexander….He…..”

“What did he-?”

“He cheated on me, with Reynolds no less!” He rolled over, away from James.

“James Reynolds!? The guy that beat him up all those times-”

“Yes, James, what other Reynolds!?”

“That’s true…” James looked away, which made Thomas sigh.

“I didn’t mean to yell. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay…”

They looked at each other for a moment.

“C’mere,” James said, arms open.

Thomas almost leaped into them, and once again began to sob.

“I told him about the bet.”

“So that’s why he was upset?”

“No, I told him…”

“Thomas you didn’t-”

“I told him it was over.”

James patted back his hair, “It’s for the better, you may have loved him, but you don’t need him.”

***

Lafayette wasn’t there.

Lafayette didn’t have to know.

Blood ran down Alexander’s arms, soothing him.

Not enough though, for he was still crying after he patched himself up.

Reynolds practically raped him the past month, beat him, and Thomas broke up with him.

What an eventful time.


	13. John Laurens is my brother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Except for the first part of the chapter, this is in John's pov (still third person).   
> Enjoy!

Things were quiet for the next week.

Well, at least for Alex.

‘Breathe’

Everyone had been told what happened, taking Thomas’ story and his side.

Just like Lafayette did.

Well, there was nothing wrong with that, was there? Thomas did nothing wrong.

Right?

‘Breathe’

Alexander was silent for the first time in his life, his friends shaming and ignoring him for what he had done. Rumors began to spread about him, and Reynolds only made it worse.

At least Reynolds said nothing about Lafayette.

‘Breathe’

 

***

“John!”

“Shush!”

What was happening? Who was calling his name?

“John, are you there!?”

Oh, it was just Alexander. He felt like chuckling; only he couldn't.

Who was the other person speaking?

“Sir, he is waking up, we know you want to be here, but we will have to run tests-”

“I am not leaving his side!”

Run tests?!

Where was he?

 

It felt like hours before he could open his eyes, and when he did, it was way too bright.

People began moving over him; at least, he assumed it was people, everything was blurry, afterall.

He felt tired.

He fell back asleep.

 

***

 

When he awoke again, it was quiet, except for a soft beeping.

Where was that coming from?

Now noticing it was darker, he opened his eyes.

He looked around, noticing he was not in his dorm.

His whole body felt stiff.

He heard a door open.

“Is he awake?”

John immediately shut his eyes, pretending to be asleep once again.

“No, not yet.”

“Is he slipping away again?”

“No, he is stable, as stated a couple of days ago. He will wake up again.”

“Ok….”

That was definitely Alexander.

“If anything happens, call for someone.”

“Understood.”

He heard a door close, and footsteps aproach his bedside.

A hand was placed on his head.

He decided now to let his eyes flutter open.

He stared up Alexander’s saddened face; which quickly turned to shock.

“J-John?”

“Yes?” he croaked out, then began to cough.

“I need to go get someone-”

“Don’t!”

John grabbed Alexander’s hand, not allowing him to leave.

“Tell me what happened first, please.”

Alexander switched from foot to foot.

“Alexander? Why am I in a hospital bed?”

He was desperate now.

Alexander shook his hand free, and walked over, pulling the chair to the bedside.

“Remember when you went to that party with Herc and Peggy? That Frat or something?”

“Yes, I remember that.”

“When you were driving home…”

Alexander squeezed his eyes shut.

“I crashed!?” He sat up, pain jolting through his body.

“John calm down-”

“Peggy, and Herc!? How are they!?”

“Peggy’s arm is almost done healing, and Herc is fine. They got banged up a little but not as bad as….. Not like you did.”

“I see.”

John observed the room, noticing various get well items placed about.

John let his eyes rest.

“How long was I out?”

“...”

“Alexander?”

“...Two months.”

John’s eyes shot open.

“What!?”

Suddenly their was a loud beeping, coming from the heart monitor.

Two nurses rushed in, pushing Alexander aside. 

“Why didn’t you tell someone he was awake!?”

His head was getting foggy again.

“I……..it…...he……..why…..”

“You……..get……..now….”

Words were barely audible.

He slipped back into sleep.

 

***

It was another two months before John got out of the hospital.

Now confined to a wheelchair for at least a year.

At most, the rest of his life.

Hercules wheeled him into the college common room.

He was greeted by all of his friends.

“Mon ami, we are so happy to have you back!”

“We really missed having you here!”

“It’s good to see you up now, my man!”

He received kisses from all three Schuyler's, which made Herc a bit angered (about Peggy, obviously).

But something wasn’t right.

Something was missing.

Someone.

“Yo, where is Alexander?”

He had wondered why he hadn’t picked him up from the hospital, either.

Everyone went silent.

Angelica whispered something to Lafayette.

Eliza turned away, but he saw her before she did.

He saw her crying.

“Where is Alexander?!”

Nobody moved, nobody said anything.

Finally, after what felt like hours, Lafayette stepped forward, and kneeled in front of John.

“He…” Lafayette took a shaky breath. “He is in the….you know…”

“You know?”

“...the hospital.”

“WHAT!?” 

John squeezed his hand, tears flaring in his eyes.

“What happened!?”

No One answered.

Lafayette backed away. 

“Goddamnit!” he squeezed the bridge of his nose. “What happened!?”

No one answered.

He rolled out of the room, down the hall and to his room.

No one followed.

Except Angelica.

“John…”

“What?”

“He overdosed two days ago.”

John’s eyes widened. 

He couldn't turn to face her.

He wouldn't.

‘Breathe’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	14. Time Warp

(Three days prior.)

  


Alexander sat alone in their room.

Lafayette was texting him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

He didn’t send a reply.

“Mon ami, I’m sorry-”

He shut his phone off.

It took him awhile, but he finally got around to telling Lafayette what really happened with Reynolds. And Thomas.

He was gonna take his apology, though, he had made up his mind.

Even with Lafayette no longer angry with him, Herc and him on good terms, and John getting out of the hospital soon, he still felt an emptiness.

Not one that anyone can fill.

Reynolds took something from him.

Just like Thomas did.

And Aaron.

Alexander jumped up from his bed and rushed out the door.

Barely managing to not run down the halls, he quickly took speed.

He knocked on the door, still hesitant, but impulsive.

THe door opened, and slammed.

He took a deep breath, and knocked again.

“What do you want?”

“Thomas, please. Please just talk to me.”

Thomas narrowed his eyes at him; reluctantly, he opened the door wider, motioning him in.

Alexander stood, knowing he wasn’t welcome. His eyes followed as Thomas sat down on his bed. 

“What is it?”

“Are you an idiot?!” Alexander yelled.

Thomas’ eyes widened. “What?”

“You know exactly why i’m here. You, baka!”

THomas looked at him confused, “What’s a baka?”

“Nevermind, please, just, listen to me for this one moment.”

Thomas laid down, stretching out. “Go ahead.”

Alexander took a deep breath. “So, you really think I did it with Reynolds because I wanted to?”

“Yes,”

“Remember when I told you to hear me out?”

Thomas looked at him, before his eyes slightly widened. Memories were flashing through his mind. “Alexander…”

“Thomas, I was raped and you shunned me away.”

“I didn’t think it was-”

“I told you I did it to help Lafayette, not because I wanted to. You care about Lafayette as much as I do, don’t you? Wouldn't you have done the same?”

“Tell me what was so important that you let that happen to you.” Thomas got up, and began walking towards him. He moved to put a hand on his shoulder, but was shooed away.

“I can’t say,”

“Tell me, and i’ll believe anything you say.”

Alexander hesitated. “He…” he paused. “He… is in an illegal relationship. That’s all I say.”

“That’s all I needed to know.” Thomas leaned in for a kiss, but was pushed away.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“What do you mean? Didn’t you come back here-”

“I came back here so you can stop spreading rumors about me.” he was gripping his arm tightly, dangerously tight considering what was under his sleeve. “Not to be your little toy again.”

“Toy? You were never-”

“Bet.”

“What?”

“You bet. You and John made a bet-”

“I lied.”

“What?”

“I said I lied! I Was angry and- and….”

Alexander bit his lip, tears escaping. He turned and headed for the door.

“So you lied, ignored I was raped, broke up with me, and spread horrible rumors about me? Do you really think i’d want to be with someone who treated me so horribly?” Alexander scoffed, grabbing the handle.

Thomas pushed him out of the way and blocked the door. 

“Alexander, I’m sorry!”

“No, it’s too late for that!” he tried to push past the taller man, “Let me leave.”

“Alexander…” he hesitantly stepped out of the way.

“Goodbye Thomas.”

“Please take care of yourself.”

The door slammed on his face.

  


Alexander now trudged down the hallway, trying to figure out what to do.

Aaron.

His pace picked up, and he walked to the designated room. 

He knocked.

“Alexander?”

“Aaron, sir?”

“You look absolutely terrible,”

“Thank you.”

“I didn’t mean-” he pinched his nose. “What do you want? I’m busy.”

“Oh, sorry. Nevermind then-”

“No, why are you here?”

Alexander sighed, and straightened his back. “Remember that party freshman year.”

Aaron’s eyes widened. He grabbed Alexander harshly by the arm, who yelped. “We would never speak of it, remember?”

“I know, but…”

“But what?”

“Would you like to try again?”

Aaron froze, then let him go. “Goodnight Alexander.”

And like that, the door was slammed on his face.

Alexander fell back against the door, tears streaming down. 

“Look at me and my stupid impulses! Alexander fucking Hamilton, never learns to shut up!” he yelled down the empty hallway.

He stood, and ran to his room. 

“Enough, i’m done with this.”

He scribbled out some words, then grabbed his weapon. A bottle of adviil, and a backup just incase.

  


***

Aaron had heard him, and after he trudged off, he left his room.

He walked down the corridor towards Alexander’s room.

He knocked.

Nothing.

He banged on the door.

Nothing.

He tried the handle.

Click.

Inside he saw something horrifying.

He called an ambulance.

He drove to the hospital. 

He waited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaron Burr, Sir! :p


	15. The End

Ok, so I have thought long about this, and i have made my decision.  
If I were to continue this story, it would not be Jamilton.  
This fanfic got abusive and went down a path I never wanted.  
I have also gotten into other couples.  
How the story was gonna go:  
Burr and Ham become a couple  
THomas wants to get back together  
buT IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSE  
and t jeff for the win.  
i will still be writing Jamilton, but i mainly will be writing oneshots for right now. I have one big story coming up, but its laf/ham so.....  
Thanks for sticking around and giving support!


End file.
